Nyctophilia

Have you ever, on a clear sky night, laid on the terrace and watched the stars? Did it then suddenly occur to you that you are just a minute organism, stuck to a small piece of rock rotating in space? Did you let that realization engulf you? Did it change your perspective completely? Did it make you look around yourself at all the earthly creations and try comparing them to the enormity of space?

There has to be a name for this feeling. It leaves you filled with awe as well as slightly uneasy about your own mortality. It temporarily strips away your entire ego, all your pride. It makes you feel disconnected with your own life and yet makes you realize you are a part of the vast universe.

It renders redundant all the politics, the hate, the struggle and the mere mortal concepts of economy and society. Time itself seems such an absurd concept. For a moment it’s like only you exist on the planet, it feels like you are the planet. You can feel yourself turning in space, amongst the stars and galaxies. And it feels like you have been doing it forever and could do it forevermore.

It’s hard to describe how it feels; it feels content, peaceful and tranquil, without the concept of purpose or ambition. It dissolves the concept of you as an individual and yet makes you more acutely aware of your own existence. It’s like taking a breath of fresh air after been suffocated in stale air for long.

It makes you feel glad to be alive just so you could experience this.

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